I AM NOT YOUR PERFECT MEXICAN DUGHTER by Erika L. Sahchez
Sanchez, E.L. (2017). I
AM NOT YOUR PERFECT MEXICAN DAUGHTER.
Alfred A. Knopf Books for Young Readers.
Julia’s parents, whom she
calls Amá and Apa, are Mexican American immigrants who work thankless jobs to
provide for their family. Twenty-two-year-old Olga was proper, obedient, and
quiet, the ideal Mexican daughter. Julia, on the other hand, is loud,
opinionated, and independent—characteristics that garner judgement and
criticism from her devout and traditional family. When Olga gets hit by a truck
and dies, the family’s grief further alienates Julia from her parents.
A few weeks after Olga’s
funeral, Amá shocks Julia by informing her she wants to throw her a
quinceañera—an elaborate party for Latina girls at the age of fifteen that
marks their transition into womanhood. Julia has no interest in having a party,
especially because she is almost sixteen, but she knows that Amá regrets not
having one for Olga.
One night, Julia sneaks
into Olga’s room and finds several hidden items: a love note, a hotel key, and
racy lingerie. Julia turns to Olga’s best friend Angie, who doesn’t reveal
Olga’s secrets and blames Julia for caring about her sister too late. Julia’s
continuous inquiries at the hotel and at Olga’s college lead nowhere, but she
remains suspicious.
As Julia continues to
struggle with her grief, her only sources of solace are her best friend Lorena,
English class with Mr. Ingman, and the idea of going away to college. She is an
aspiring writer, and while she waits for her chance to escape Chicago and see
the world, she escapes her mundane, oppressive life by reading and writing.
Julia reluctantly
participates in her quinceañera to please her family, but she gets into an
argument with one of her aunts. Amá reprimands her and angrily blames her for
Olga’s death. Julia spends the summer helping Amá clean houses, and in the
fall, applies for colleges. She dates Connor, a wealthy white boy from the
suburbs, and their relationship brings her joy, though their class disparity is
sometimes a source of anxiety for Julia.
Julia finally finds the
key to Olga’s room and moves Olga’s secret belongings to her room to keep them
from Amá. Amá, however, finds them, and Julia allows her to think they are hers.
Amá grounds Julia, and Julia’s depression and isolation come to a head. She
tries to commit suicide, but Apa breaks through her door and gets her to the
hospital. Julia follows a treatment plan of outpatient therapy, counseling, and
medication. After she completes the program, Julia’s parents decide that she
should go to Mexico, thinking time with her grandmother and extended family
will help her heal. Before she leaves, she finds the password to Olga’s
computer and discovers old email exchanges between Olga and a married doctor
from work.
In Mexico, Julia learns
that Apa used to be an artist, and Amá was raped on their journey across the
border, resulting in Olga’s birth. The cartel’s violence resurfaces in Los
Ojos, and the family decides it is no longer safe for Julia. When she
returns to Chicago, she and Amá mend their relationship, and Julia reconnects
with Connor.
Julia learns that Olga
was pregnant when she died, and she confronts Olga’s boyfriend. He insists that
he loved Olga, but Julia has little sympathy for him. He gives her an
ultrasound photo. In the fall, Julia leaves for college in New York City,
grateful for the opportunities that she has been given.
This novel draws upon the
author’s (Sánchez) own experience as a first-generation American “struggling to
reconcile two conflicting cultures,” It explores immigrant cultural
identity and its role in familial expectations and dynamics. Julia’s mental
health issues are deeply intertwined with other serious themes like trauma,
abuse, and poverty. The story would be good for a young adult struggling with
depression, although parents might not feel the same due to the strong themes
in the book. I have a daughter struggling with depression, so I can relate to
this story. When she is a little older, I would recommend she read it.
This story is a constant
power struggle between the traditional Mexican culture and the new
“Americanized” Mexican culture. Julia comes from traditional Mexican parents
who believe family is everything, but she wants freedom and a career. The pivotal
character is Olga, Julia’s sister. Olga seems to Julia and their parents to be
the “perfect Mexican daughter.” She
works and is loyal and obedient to her family. After she is killed, Julia
learns the real Olga was pregnant by an older married man whom she had been
seeing for quite some time. Olga had one foot in the old ways and one in the
new.
The cultural markers are
everywhere in the story. Names of characters, traditions, food they eat, music
are all from Mexican culture. There are Spanish phrases all through the story. There
is one particular discussion in the book that stands out to me. Julia and her
teacher, Mr. Ingman (who is white) discuss college admission essays. He wants
Julia to emphasize the fact that her parents are undocumented. She feels
uncomfortable because it is a secret. Mr. Ingman says “No one is going to
deport them. That would be impossible.” Julia says they are “illegal,” and Mr.
Ingman says “undocumented.” This
argument again shows the power struggle between the old ways and the new.
National Book Award Finalist
Publisher’s Weekly: “Sánchez’s
debut novel covers a lot of ground, including Julia’s day-to-day activities in
Chicago, her college ambitions, her first boyfriend (who is white and comes from
a wealthy neighborhood), her difficult relationship with her overprotective
parents, and her search for Olga’s secrets. As the book moves along, Julia’s
frustration with the many constraints she lives under—poverty, family
expectations, and conditioning that she resents but can’t quite ignore—reaches
dangerous levels. Julia is a sympathetic character, but Sánchez’s often
expository writing keeps her and her struggles at arm’s length. Ages
14–up. Agent: Michelle Brower, Zachary Shuster Harmsworth Literary.
(Oct.)”
National Book Foundation: “Part
mystery, part love story, part inner quest. In I Am Not Your
Perfect Mexican Daughter, the vibrant teen protagonist struggles to
prove who she is not, and in that journey, discovers who she is: stronger, braver,
more worthy of loving and living than she ever imagined. Bold new voice Erika
L. Sánchez carries us through an amazing exploration of family, grief, and
culture, reminding us that we are all flawed, and it is those flaws that make
us priceless.”
Books with similar themes:
THE POET X by Elizabeth Acevedo ISBN 978-0062662804
MEXICAN GOTHIC by Silvia Moreno-Garcia ISBN 978-0525620785
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