I AM NOT YOUR PERFECT MEXICAN DUGHTER by Erika L. Sahchez

 


Sanchez, E.L. (2017). I AM NOT YOUR PERFECT MEXICAN DAUGHTER.

       Alfred A. Knopf Books for Young Readers.

 

Julia’s parents, whom she calls Amá and Apa, are Mexican American immigrants who work thankless jobs to provide for their family. Twenty-two-year-old Olga was proper, obedient, and quiet, the ideal Mexican daughter. Julia, on the other hand, is loud, opinionated, and independent—characteristics that garner judgement and criticism from her devout and traditional family. When Olga gets hit by a truck and dies, the family’s grief further alienates Julia from her parents.

A few weeks after Olga’s funeral, Amá shocks Julia by informing her she wants to throw her a quinceañera—an elaborate party for Latina girls at the age of fifteen that marks their transition into womanhood. Julia has no interest in having a party, especially because she is almost sixteen, but she knows that Amá regrets not having one for Olga.

One night, Julia sneaks into Olga’s room and finds several hidden items: a love note, a hotel key, and racy lingerie. Julia turns to Olga’s best friend Angie, who doesn’t reveal Olga’s secrets and blames Julia for caring about her sister too late. Julia’s continuous inquiries at the hotel and at Olga’s college lead nowhere, but she remains suspicious.

As Julia continues to struggle with her grief, her only sources of solace are her best friend Lorena, English class with Mr. Ingman, and the idea of going away to college. She is an aspiring writer, and while she waits for her chance to escape Chicago and see the world, she escapes her mundane, oppressive life by reading and writing.

Julia reluctantly participates in her quinceañera to please her family, but she gets into an argument with one of her aunts. Amá reprimands her and angrily blames her for Olga’s death. Julia spends the summer helping Amá clean houses, and in the fall, applies for colleges. She dates Connor, a wealthy white boy from the suburbs, and their relationship brings her joy, though their class disparity is sometimes a source of anxiety for Julia.

Julia finally finds the key to Olga’s room and moves Olga’s secret belongings to her room to keep them from Amá. Amá, however, finds them, and Julia allows her to think they are hers. Amá grounds Julia, and Julia’s depression and isolation come to a head. She tries to commit suicide, but Apa breaks through her door and gets her to the hospital. Julia follows a treatment plan of outpatient therapy, counseling, and medication. After she completes the program, Julia’s parents decide that she should go to Mexico, thinking time with her grandmother and extended family will help her heal. Before she leaves, she finds the password to Olga’s computer and discovers old email exchanges between Olga and a married doctor from work.

 

In Mexico, Julia learns that Apa used to be an artist, and Amá was raped on their journey across the border, resulting in Olga’s birth. The cartel’s violence resurfaces in Los Ojos, and the family decides it is no longer safe for Julia. When she returns to Chicago, she and Amá mend their relationship, and Julia reconnects with Connor.

Julia learns that Olga was pregnant when she died, and she confronts Olga’s boyfriend. He insists that he loved Olga, but Julia has little sympathy for him. He gives her an ultrasound photo. In the fall, Julia leaves for college in New York City, grateful for the opportunities that she has been given.

 

This novel draws upon the author’s (Sánchez) own experience as a first-generation American “struggling to reconcile two conflicting cultures,” It explores immigrant cultural identity and its role in familial expectations and dynamics. Julia’s mental health issues are deeply intertwined with other serious themes like trauma, abuse, and poverty. The story would be good for a young adult struggling with depression, although parents might not feel the same due to the strong themes in the book. I have a daughter struggling with depression, so I can relate to this story. When she is a little older, I would recommend she read it.

This story is a constant power struggle between the traditional Mexican culture and the new “Americanized” Mexican culture. Julia comes from traditional Mexican parents who believe family is everything, but she wants freedom and a career. The pivotal character is Olga, Julia’s sister. Olga seems to Julia and their parents to be the “perfect Mexican daughter.”  She works and is loyal and obedient to her family. After she is killed, Julia learns the real Olga was pregnant by an older married man whom she had been seeing for quite some time. Olga had one foot in the old ways and one in the new.

The cultural markers are everywhere in the story. Names of characters, traditions, food they eat, music are all from Mexican culture. There are Spanish phrases all through the story. There is one particular discussion in the book that stands out to me. Julia and her teacher, Mr. Ingman (who is white) discuss college admission essays. He wants Julia to emphasize the fact that her parents are undocumented. She feels uncomfortable because it is a secret. Mr. Ingman says “No one is going to deport them. That would be impossible.” Julia says they are “illegal,” and Mr. Ingman says “undocumented.”  This argument again shows the power struggle between the old ways and the new.

National Book Award Finalist

 

Publisher’s Weekly: “Sánchez’s debut novel covers a lot of ground, including Julia’s day-to-day activities in Chicago, her college ambitions, her first boyfriend (who is white and comes from a wealthy neighborhood), her difficult relationship with her overprotective parents, and her search for Olga’s secrets. As the book moves along, Julia’s frustration with the many constraints she lives under—poverty, family expectations, and conditioning that she resents but can’t quite ignore—reaches dangerous levels. Julia is a sympathetic character, but Sánchez’s often expository writing keeps her and her struggles at arm’s length. Ages 14–up. Agent: Michelle Brower, Zachary Shuster Harmsworth Literary. (Oct.)”

 

National Book Foundation: “Part mystery, part love story, part inner quest. In I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter, the vibrant teen protagonist struggles to prove who she is not, and in that journey, discovers who she is: stronger, braver, more worthy of loving and living than she ever imagined. Bold new voice Erika L. Sánchez carries us through an amazing exploration of family, grief, and culture, reminding us that we are all flawed, and it is those flaws that make us priceless.”

 

Books with similar themes:

 THE POET X by Elizabeth Acevedo ISBN 978-0062662804

MEXICAN GOTHIC by Silvia Moreno-Garcia ISBN 978-0525620785

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